Sick of It

Sick of it.  Sick of feeling like this, sick of wondering about people, and sick of continually questioning my beliefs for the sake of conformity.

I'm blaming my physical awfulness on many different things.  I have many reasons to be in pain right now, so I'm just going to do my best to not die before I can get over these reasons.  And yes, I'm kidding about the dying.  I'm not going to die.  This too shall pass.  Eventually. 

Sick of wondering about people.  Some people act like they really care about you and want to have an active role in your life, and then they just disappear again.  And then some people really do care, but they wonder if you do because you never get to see them.  And I do care.  I just don't have resources to do what some people are asking.

Conformity is a dangerous word.  Sadly, it is a word that our culture seems to place in a very positive light.  Conform to dress standards(or lack thereof), conform to what's popular on the radio, conform to what your age says is cool.  I think not.  The sad thing is that I sometimes realize that I'm not aware of conformity on my part.  It just seems like a natural thing to do.

I'm sick of it.