For Tishmeister:
“Is this going to gross you out, because if it is, I won’t show it to you.” I laughed to myself. He has no idea what a strong stomach I have.
Mom butts in, “She’s felt a calf en utero.”
“What?? Was this for 4H or something?”
“No, it was at home.”
“For fun?”
Now I’m laughing super hard. “No, it was a pregnancy check on our cow.”
The rest of the conversation was about artificial insemination and such. Cool.
I have a very strong stomach; I can’t recall ever being grossed out at anything. Except the scene from Pride and Prejudice where the fat guy is eating like an animal. That is gross. But other than that, I’m pretty much unshakable. I thought dissecting a deer was fun.
Turns out, the videos he showed me were of vocal chords. Ones from normal people, from people with cancer, people with different diseases. I don’t know how anyone could consider this gross.
On a similar subject, we have a semen tank in our house. Yes, a semen tank. Guess where it is? No, not the kitchen. It’s in the piano room. Yep. I don’t really notice. It’s just there. From time to time, the semen tank company comes around to fill it up. I wish I could learn how to do AI(artificial insemination). The man who got us into all this cow business said that I have small arms that are perfect for AI. He is supposed to teach me one of these days. Mom is considering taking a class on it. No fair. I wanna come.
My first thought:
ReplyDeleteI am adding you to my "People of Walmart" episode. In this episode, you shop at WalMart near the midnight hour (so that you get to meet the most colorful of Walmarters.) You walk up to random people and say "I noticed you have small arms. Have you ever considered a career in artificial insemination of cows?" It'll be like a Visa commercial - priceless.
My second thought:
What happened to the overdeveloped muscles in your forearms?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYES! YES! YES! You are too funny!
ReplyDeleteMy overdeveloped muscles are still quite small, though, when compared to the rest of my body, are huge. I probably have more muscle in my arms than anywhere else in my body combined. However, my arms are smallish. Relative to the rest of America.
You should have a blog. Oh, wait.
In other words, my arms fit nicely into a cow's rear end. What a compliment to myself.
LOLOLOL!! Why do I need a blog, when I can just banter with you on yours?!?
ReplyDeleteGood question- I AM WAITING ON YOUR BLOG POST. That's why. My whole day has been spent clicking the refresh button. I am deeply saddened.
ReplyDeleteVery good blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers?
ReplyDeleteI'm planning to start my own website soon but I'm a
little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting
with a free platform like Wordpress or go for a paid option?
There are so many options out there that I'm totally confused .. Any tips? Kudos!
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