What is it like to act like a kid? Do I ever do that? Should I do that? When would that be appropriate? These questions are what I am reminiscing on.
I acted like a kid at piano camp. At least, during the times when we were goofing off. What does it mean to act like a kid? Does it mean to lose all formality, common courtesy, and self-respect? I believe that "acting like a kid" has been pushed to its limits.
Someone(a man) this week described me as being a "doll". Seriously? A doll? I mean, I'm flattered, but seriously, am I that courteous and respectful, or what? I say "please" and "thank you" and "yes sir", but that got me the status of being a "doll"? I don't think of myself as being one of those kids that adults go "AWWW! She's such a sweetheart!" at. My favorite adults(yes, I have favorites; isn't it terrible?!) think of me as this girl who is confident, strong-willed, and ready to face the world.
But back to being a kid. What does it mean? I think the problem with this generation(yes, prepare for the preaching), is that people my age are given the privledges of an adult, and the responsibilties of a child.
When I act like a kid, I try to do it without losing respect from others. In other words, I don't fully start acting reckless. Reckless happens at home.
Several people in the last month have told me to act more like a kid. I find things entertaining that other kids don't(i.e. opera, practicing, etc.), and I guess that's my way of acting like a kid. Sometimes I take a break from the hard classical music, and I get out my broadway book. Sometimes I stop reading the Twain and get out the easiest book imaginable. So, I guess my way of being a kid is doing something easier. Easier can be good, in moderation. But I enjoy a challenge. Sure, I'm not exactly a happy camper when practicing my hardest vocal stuff, but I enjoy what I get from that.
I probably have more adult friends than kids my age. Maybe that's why I find it hard to be a "kid". I enjoy good, well-rounded humor(and dry wit when I can find it), and I enjoy honest to goodness intelligent conversations. It's what I love. It's what I do.
What I do not love is making big decisions. All the usual junk that everyone tells me is supposed to accompany my age(i.e. dating) ain't gonna happen any time soon. I was looking at college websites last night, and I got into bed and just breathed this huge sigh of frustration. So many choices, so many limitations, so little time. We shall see. I think I'll just concentrate on living through high school for right now. Who has time for a social life when college is fast approaching? I enjoy talking to my Tishmeister and others, but that will have to do for now.
So do I ever act like a kid? I'm still not sure. Until tomorrow.......
I have many thoughts on this, most from personal experience. I was one that people who was told to act like a kid. Don't try to be so grown up. Quit taking so much on yourself.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened? I listened. It backfired. I took (kept?) adult privileges and tossed personal responsibility. I wish, in retrospect, instead of people telling me to act like a kid, they had embraced my maturity and above normal level of responsibility, and pushed me forward. Things might have been a lot different for me. Inadvertently, though, I was held back in some ways, all for the privilege of being a kid.
I understand, you are going to be a kid for some 20 years of your 80 - 100 years on this earth. 1/4 to 1/5. There will be plenty of time to deal with adult issues, adult pressures, adult responsibilities and so forth. No one wants you to look back and think you missed out on being a kid.
Do you feel like you will look back and feel like you "missed" your childhood? I have no impression that you feel like too much is expected of you. You are not managing the family budget, or responsible for raising younger siblings while mom is at work.
You are a mature and self responsible kid. Yes, "KID". But, you are a kid who has internal fortitude. You have foresight. But, you still have kid qualities. I doubt seriously that you are afraid to run barefoot or swing really high, or "hang" with friends. You realize that those things are CHOICES. Sometimes choosing kidly things is the right thing for you. Sometimes, more often in fact, it is not.
Most kids (mine included) don't have the maturity to realize that those things are choices. They don't expect more of themselves, beyond their kid activities. They don't look beyond an hour from now, or tomorrow, or maybe next week. Consequently, it is MY job to expect more from them. You've just already largely crossed that hump. You are taking responsibility for your choices, and choosing things that will lend themselves to outcomes on down the road - college opportunities, music opportunities, etc.
Making those choices doesn't make you less of a kid. It makes you a kid who is ahead in the real world. And being ahead intimidates people. It also sets you far apart from peers your age. And in this world of inclusion and "no child left behind", that simply makes people uncomfortable. They realize that your peers aren't going to be like you (and they shouldn't -- they are not you), so they tell you to act more like a kid, so you will be "included" in the stereotype they feel comfortable with.
With respect to your statement: "...people my age are given the privileges of an adult, and the responsibilities of a child." : You are right. And you are wrong. Some kids are given privileges of adults, but more TAKE them. If the they were matched in privilege and personal responsibility, there would not be a problem.
You have managed to learn at 13-14 what it took me 10-15 years longer to learn. You know that hard work pays off, and that your choices have consequences that you may or may not realize for many years. Why any adult would not embrace this is beyond me.
So my advice to you, is:
1. As always, be yourself.
2. Don't be AFRAID to be a kid.
3. Don't let anyone put you in a box, because it makes them comfortable.
4. Have fun being you. That is what being a kid is really about. Being able to embrace the things you enjoy.
You are special. And I love you just the way you are.
I never thought of those things as being "choices", but I understand what you mean. I guess to some kids, listening to Bieber or Miley Cyrus is just something kids that age do. I've never been one to do something just because everyone else is. When I see something popular(great example being those Nike shorts that EVERYONE in town wears) I don't automatically think, "Oh, I have to have those, because those are the only form of acceptable shorts".
ReplyDeleteI enjoy doing what I do. Maybe it's because the things I enjoy doing(piano, singing) tend to be more "adult" activities. Most people don't realize how much I enjoy it. It's like most people don't thinking of "practicing" as being enjoyable, because it doesn't come easy. I like things that don't come easy. They are challenging, and I like a challenge.
That is even better, because you are mature enough to not feel like you are missing something because you went a different direction.
ReplyDelete